Harry Potter Vs Mp3
by Alex17
Summary: This will be a series of songs (each chapter a different song) that, I think, has to do (or would just be plain hilarious) with Harry Potter. The first chapter just popped into my twisted little brain don't mind me ^^...


Author: ~*Alex*~  
  
AN: okay this will be a little difficult, so I'll put it in story form, enjoy. Alright this will be a squence of song stories, R/R and of course enjoy them all! I'll probably add one every three days up to a week.  
  
Fred and George cringed and half glared as the ghastly teacher chivvied the girls to one side of the room and the guys on the other. One red head, known as Isabella, wasn't taking this too kindly. She fought against him, she was used to sitting with her own lil' hubby: Fred. Once she had settled down she sank in her seat, haunched over, knowing how much Professor Binns hated people slouching. Her elbows rested on her desk as her chin dug into her palm. She drummed her fingers on the desk as, without moving her head but by simply moving her eyes, checked out her surroundings. The men were safely sitting about ten feet away in their desks as were the girls. Professor Binns was thinking of SOMETHING.  
  
He cleared his throat, the class slowly turning their attention to the transparent teacher. "As you see I've made a new arrangement.this will only be for today.those of you who have to sit next to a certain someone, you'll be back to that seat tomorrow." He said with a gulp. "Today we will be studying the human reproduction." Nearly all the girls groaned as most of the guys smiled, resting their hands behind their heads and smirking. Isabella's eyes shot to the twins their eyes fixed on her and the girl next to her: her best friend Rachel. Rachel and George had been going out for quite a while, although Iz and Fred had been going out twice as long as they had. The two red headed devils were throwing smirks and kissy faces their way, the next thing they knew they were shielding their faces from the barrage of paper that was being thrown at them. Now it was the girls' turn to smirk and high five each other. The two men settled down in their seats as they paid their attention to the front.  
  
"The parts of a flower are so constructed that very, very often the wind will cause pollination," Professor Binns started, almost in a.sing- song tone? Oh my Gawd. Isabella thought as she embarrassingly covered her eyes. The men on the other hand were turning as red as a cherry from holding in their laughter. "If not, then a bee or any other nectar gathering creature can create the same situation," he was seriously trying to sing. His voice went high pitched as he bounced to an invisible beat merely inside his head. "Yes, anything that gets the pollen to the pistils, write it on the list. I'll try to make it crystal-clear: The flower's insatiable passion turns its life into a circus of debauchery!" Rachel and Isabella exchanged glances and sat back in their seat, their arms crossed. "Now you see just how the stamen gets its lusty dust onto the stigma. And why this frenzied chlorophyllous orgy starts in spring is no enigma!" Rachel's eyes widened. Now he was RHYMING?! And the other girls seemed to think differently from them as their heard them about to sing along in response. "We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?"  
  
"A photo-periodic reaction!" Two Slytherin girls piped up. To make things even worse the entire sixth-year-Slytherin student body walked in, the boys separating off to one side and the girls on the other. Isabella actually wondered if this professor was Moses.  
  
"Oh, that's good, that's very good!" He said, almost as if patting their heads to congratulate them. Deep, rich voices filled the room, the women's gazes darted to the men.who were standing in their seats, sitting on their desks, or dancing!  
  
Boys: "Reproduction!"  
  
Girls: "Reproduction!"  
  
The girls were obviously responding, so why not. Rachel and Isabella both stood in their chairs so they were equal as the men. "Put your pollen tube to work!" came an entirely squeaky voice, which Isabella found as Millicent Bulstrode. Rachel snorted and shook her head.  
  
Boys: "Reproduction!"  
  
Women: "Reproduction!"  
  
Isabella laughed loudly, though it wasn't heard over any of the singing. Rachel lightly nudged her as she nodded, jumping up on the desk, her red pigtails flying behind her. "Make my stamen go berserk!" She let out, unknowingly. Her eyes widened as she mentally slapped herself, she was NOT egging those men on! Rachel burst out laughing, although together, she and Iz made the men go weak at the knees. They themselves said the two girls had voices like angels. Which caused Fred to stop, his eyes wide. Since when was Isabella so wild about this? She was wild and outgoing, but usually she kept quiet about this. This gave Fred an easy nudge to play along.  
  
Boys: "Reproduction!"  
  
"I don't even know what a pistil is!" Rachel sang out right after her. Suddenly Draco jumped onto his desk, grabbing his crotch.  
  
"I got your pistil right here," He gave out seductively. Rachel's jaw dropped as George easily tackled him down with a Jelly Legs spell. Draco went tumbling to the ground as the class continued.  
  
"Where does the pollen go." came Crabbe's deep voice. Everyone was silent. Professor Binns stepped in this time, levitating right above his desk as he held a book in front of him.  
  
"Next chapter, In an abstract way, the same thing applies To the reproductive organs of the more complex life forms. But now we are dealing with sexual response. Are there any questions before we begin reading?" He said in a bemusing way. George nodded as Fred gave a smirk and leaped out of his desk and lurked over to Isabella, a devilish look pasted onto his tanned, freckled face. Isabella saw this, her eyes widened as she slowly leaned back, sarcastically trying to get away from him. About half way down she could feel his body pressed up to hers and his nose lightly brushing hers.  
  
"Is it possible for the female member of some sex on a couch could like get this guy real hot," he started, almost in a growl, but as he sang slowly moved his lips to her ear. "and she never even knew it?" he finished, nipping her ear lightly before crawling backward back to his seat. Isabella bit her lip, her cheeks hottening, but stopped as she saw George start to stand. She turned to Rachel and gave her a sympathetic look. Rachel gulped as she slowly started to get in the position to run. She gasped and swiftly turned around, there was George! How he got from his desk to hers without her knowing it was beyond her.  
  
"When the warm blooded mammal in a tight little sweater starts pulling her stuff is she saying that she wants to do IT?" George followed along suit his brother on breaking the personal-boundaries wall, but instead teased Rachel, not kissing, but merely brushed his lips against hers before leap frogging over both she and Isabella and jumping into his seat. Next was Lee Jordan, he jumped up on his desk, his fingers laced together behind his head as he rotated his waist.  
  
"Can't prove it by me, cause they change their tune when you got 'em in the back seat!" Lee Jordan sang out, thrusting his hips forward. Fred and George snickered as they high fived their bud and watched the next person: Goyle. The entire Gryffindor body fell silent as Goyle did.what.? Some kind of dance.  
  
"With his heart beating fast!" he drooled out monotonously. The same Slytherin girls piped up, cringes and disgust written on their faces.  
  
"They make it sound like a track meet, gross!" they screeched. All the men stood on their desk and screwed up their faces, trying, unsuccessfully, to mimic the girls.  
  
"YA! And all they can do is say is no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" They said, making their voices high pitched and, not to mention, high maintenance. The women exchanged glances and literally levitated to their desks. They could play this.  
  
Girls: "Reproduction!" they sang in the deepest voice they could muster.  
  
Boys: "Reproduction!" the boys yelled out in their squeakiest mousy voices.  
  
"Baby give it to me now!" the girls continued in their deep voices, mimicking the men's exact thoughts.  
  
Boys: "Reproduction!" they finally said normally.  
  
Girls: "Reproduction!" they maintained their silver bellish voices.  
  
But the men weren't done, they continued acting out the girls' attitude.and their high pitched voices. "is that all you think about?" they started once again.  
  
All: "Reproduction!"  
  
"Come on baby show me that you really love me so!" The girls sang then stopped, waiting for their response. Isabella and Rachel smiled widely, a genuine smile as the twins mouthed an "I love you" to them. But Draco was green, he rolled his eyes.  
  
"I think I'm gonna throw up." he murmured.  
  
"Where does the pollen go?" Came both Crabbe and Goyle's voices. Professor Binns stood in front of the class and cleared his throat. He had the attention once more.  
  
"The human is the only being capable of consciously controlling its number of offspring. Any comments on this?" He gulped as Pansy Parkison waddled- wait waddled? Isabella and Rachel shook their heads, taking it as a sore attempt to shake her ass- up to Professor Binns and pulled his tie toward her.  
  
"Mr. Binns, is it true that guys like you, you know, mature and all, carry some protection with them for sexual occasions?" Pansy belched, ending it with a laugh. Fred sat up, in order to drown out her evil-opera-singing- voice.  
  
"What's the big deal? Can't a girl just do that thing in a book where she adds up the days of her, uh, what do you call it," He rang out, staring at the ceiling deep in thought, but it looked like George thought of the word first and jumped on Fred's shoulders, holding up an index finger.  
  
"Mentalstration!" George piped up. Isabella, no, all the girls groaned and shooed their hands at them.  
  
"Oh that's really neat!" Isabella yelled out bluntly.  
  
"Yeah, and what will the guy say when the numbers don't add up right, huh?" Rachel backed up with sarcasm. The girls smirked at the guys. At that very moment Snape strolled in, a stone-dead look on his face. A roll of thunder was heard as everyone sat in their seats at once, Isabella diving to a seat by Fred.squishing him between her an George in two desks, which was OBVIOUSLY not meant to hold three people.  
  
"I can hear you all from the dungeons." he hissed, the words slowly exiting his lips. Fred and Isabella grunted. This meant detention.  
  
~*Fin*~ 


End file.
